69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. Walt From Party Down South, Gross! How do you make a pool table laugh? Knock, knock. Knock knock. Dirty Jokes That Are Actually Funny And NSFW. I see why they call you handsome. One Liner Section: Many Short Stories. I want you inside me. Whats long and hard and full of semen? "She did everything wrong! 13. Whats the difference between you and the refrigerator? Ben Dover who? - Victoria Wood. Direct to the point and ready to hit the road. I farted at work the other day and my coworker started trying to open the window. #36. #33. Bogey Jokes. The best 13 navy submarine jokes. Faced with such a brilliant response, we have no possible reply. A: A submarine. What do you call a cheap circumcision? 20. 28. Im trying to examine you.. Please sign up with your best email address. The other rider asks if its rainy outside. Menu. They're both at the bottom of the sea full of semen. One Liners II: More Short Stories. Want to Read. As you can see, there are actually quite a few benefits to enjoying dirty jokes from time to time. As he was being led into the pits for an eternity of torment, he saw a lawyer passionately kissing a beautiful woman. #32. The Head nurse, 28. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. "Son I'm changing your post to the mess hall. These Top 25 Dirty Jokes are pretty great and pretty dirty! Because Santa only comes once a year! #41. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? 48. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? Knock, knock. Harry who? 78. The Madam is out of women but, since the guy is Polish she thinks she can get away with a blow up doll and he will never know the difference. A new navy recruit has his first day on the submarine. There are some seamen submarine jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Working on my laptop reminds me of my time on a submarine. Question: Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A submarine. 8. Youll never get it! Both always seem to have a sail on. Ones a Goodyear. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? I just need someone to blow me. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? Boy: "I'm not fishing, sir. Fucking hot! Dissolvable relationships. #43. 47. The old man lies on the bed but the old woman lies down on the floor. 47. Waiter who? Papa Boner. What are the three shortest words in the English language? Usually when people tell dirty jokes they aren't funny - or at least I don't find them to be. The man. Its not easy working on a submarine. The best 13 navy submarine jokes. 45. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? Shes gonnaeatme! He spends all night thinking about it, and eventually decides on a Christmas tree. Q: What so you call a snail on a ship? He only comes once a year. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. There are some navy submarine depth charge jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. 52. Ivan to do something naughty with you! Sep 4, 2020 - Explore Paritosh Singh's board "Submarine quotes" on Pinterest. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? Here are some funny jokes about navy submarines. Knock, Knock! How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? . Harry Anus. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? 82. Whos there? The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. 20. What do you call a guy with a small dick? Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. What do boobs and toys have in common? Because I want to blow you. Fart Jokes. Whats white and 14 inches long? Kiss. But I keep telling him we need to keep the thermostat at 72 degrees this winter. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. #9. 48. What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Drumstick. Disclaimer: these are actually . No its windy!. 16. Whats worse than ants in your pants. My husband insists we try 69. Russian submarines are best in world, they go mont. Knock knock. I dont want Covid to spread. Drool Jokes. What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? 47. Whats long, hard, and full of seamen? You try explaining to the postman why you have a load of seamen for him. The penguin isnt the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. Whos there? Ben Who? The refrigerator doesnt moan when I put my meat in it. #7. Very inappropriate (and hilarious) language ahead. A tearjerker. 1. Beause theyre used to eating nuts. A. Even thoughts can raise them. 21. But I think this sub's doing even better! 96. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke? The guy responds, well, before you tell that joke, you should know that Im 6-foot tall, I weigh 200 pounds, and Im a Marine. Obviously, no one could afford to buy him a real submarine. Im always on top of important things. Here is your chance. Answer: Ones a Goodyear. Amanda lay you, your lonely nights are over! So next time someone tells you to watch your mouth, feel free to tell them offafter all, theres nothing wrong with enjoying a little bit of off-colour humor every now and then! One sperm asked the other, How far till we reach the fallopian tubes? The other replied, Not sure, but we just passed the esophagus. See TOP 10 dirty jokes from collection of 952 jokes rated by visitors. 3. Good Jokes for Adults. Ben. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. He only comes once a year. Beat it. 69% of people find something dirty in every sentence. (sexy voice) Who would you like it to be? The first one to laugh loses, and the person with the most points wins. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "ac97acb5f895670bd4b0020b62661cb5" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. #18. Or, two falls and a sub mission. Plus the best jokes from the Beano Joke Generator. Joke has 62.50 % from 62 votes. Just about enough space for my two navy mice. Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san. "What a joke!" he said. then my coworker started trying to open the window. Please pray for who? Why are women like Popeyes? All sorted from the best by our visitors. A master baiter! We all know that dirty jokes are unsavory that will never be appropriate for any kind of gathering. One of the other men asks what's got into him. Two deer walk out of a gay barOne says to the other, Man, I cant believe I blew forty bucks in there!. 92. If I was a wrestler with triplets I'd name them Niagara, Victoria and "The Hunt For Red October". It must have been a really bad one we work on a submarine. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Question: What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes everyone go crazy? So what are we waiting for? Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? 46. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. As of 2022, the gross gaming, There is no denying that the holiday season is everyones favorite time of the year. 8. Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. 10. Chewing gum. Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? 34. Here are 11 of the best replies: *Note: identities kept anonymous per group's request. What belongs to used but gets used by everyone else more than you? What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Answer: How do you breathe out of that thing? What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Lets cut the chase and start to get things rolling hot. Dozer. There are also seamen puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Funny can be good: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild? Taco Jokes. The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. Whats the difference between hungry and horny? Get your fill of knock knock jokes, animal jokes and dad jokes! Q. Chewing gum. But between you and me, I think shes a little out of my league. He takes a step back, and looks proudly at his work. Whats the difference between a g spot and a golf ball? 65. Dewey! Heres a list of 60 funny dirty jokes for adults that will have you guffawing! One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, Please send me a sister. Santa Clause wrote him back, Ok, send me your mother.. The old man asks, Why are you going to sleep on the floor?, The old woman says, Because I want to feel something hard for a change.. Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? When they come theyre wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. 50. Life is like a penis: women make it hard for no reason. Ivana. Question: What do you do when your cats dead? 51) I think you're fintastic! Submarine Jokes. The curtain opens and a pig is seen making love to a dinosaur. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, Looks like you blew a seal., No, the penguin insists, its just ice cream.. A submarine. Fresh Movie Trailer s, Navy Jokes. Use them at your own discretion. so when people ask what I do, I can say that I spread my seamen all over the world. 24. 12. When three people have sex, it's called a threesome; when two people have sex, it's called a twosome. Is it in?, RELATED: 211+ Dirty Pick-Up Lines That Will Get You Slapped (NSFW). You can explore seamen ship reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Because once youre done with the breast and thighs all you have is an empty box to put your bone-in. Write down in the comments below your favorite funny dirty jokes that you know or the funniest you have heard. #22. 37. Whos there? Most of the middle sections are missing, and the two ends have been pushed together, making it only a 4 foot san. #4. #10. 32. I eat mop who? 73. #39. 31. 19. Knock knock. Despite the long lines at each area, the party is going well, with everyone happily eating and drinking. Love is like a machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. Enjoy these hilarious and funny submarine jokes. Question: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? 5. Anita! An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. 59. Dozer who? dad. Its not that bad. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. You are bound to get plenty of laughs. What's long and hard and full of semen? What do a lesbian and a mechanic have in common? If you like these submarine jokes, have a look here for an alphabetical list of joke topics. Hearing and telling dirty jokes is good for us, and the best jokes let us laugh at and talk about what might otherwise stay hidden. A Quarter Pounder with Cheese. 67. 19. Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? Ideas for the top 101 dirty jokes were taken from the following sources. #47. Question: Want to hear a joke about my penis? What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? . And if we're missing any, send us yours. So few of them know how to dance. Dewey. Q: Have you seen the polish mine detector. if you do it too long you will go blind. The son replied Dad, Im over here. 42. Everyday. And don't forget to check our main jokes page for all the jokes you could ever handle! Question: Whats the difference between a microwave and a woman? I don't. I just don't like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.". What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? A hilarious joke thats filled with smut and innuendo, of course. Best golf jokes: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Four retired men play golf together once a week for many years. Fire who? How is a girlfriend like a laxative? A hooker could wash her crack and resell it. Sublime t shirt urban outfitters; What do a good woman and a good bar have in common? Love On Top, A male whale and a female whale see a fishing boat with a large harpoon. Kiss me! 52) I'm ready to make waves today! 10. A liquor cabinet. Are u a sea lion? A submarine. This may seem corny, but you make me really horny. Regardless of your skin color, belief or country you can never be protected from the Racist jokes. Why didnt the Toilet Paper cross the road? If you have any questions, please dont hesitate to get in touch. 66. Question: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? dirty JOKES (random) AARDVARK : VOTE! Whats the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? What are 3 two letter words that mean small? subscribers . They decided to put an Occupational Counselor on every ship, including submarines. Half of the total money spent on the internet is spent on sex. Why does a woman prefer an old gynecologist over a new one? Jinsi Ya Kujiunga Na Meridian Bet, Question: Whats long and hard and full of semen? The bartender is very impressed and exclaims, "Wow. 99 of them, in fact! Each one of them has to try and hit objects that are smaller and smaller in size. #11. Whos there? The Importance of a Variety of Payment Methods in Online Casinos Philippines, 5 Accessories to Dress Up Your Holiday Outfit, How to Open an Offshore Company in Europe. 7. She told me, "I got tired of the tasteless seamen.". Never mind. "I'm a panda," he says at the door. A sailor and a marine are both in the bathroom peeing. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 56. JOKES TOP 10 JOKES 4 YOUR SITE RECEIVE IN YOUR EMAIL: VISITED DIRTY. "I'm a talking . Trump points at an American submarine: "Our American submarines are so well-made, they can last half a year under water without having to resurface a single time in-between!". "Yo Mama's like a library, open to the public.". Whos there? Trump, Putin and Merkel were standing at the North Sea and arguing which country has the best submarines. The human taste for crude humor starts very early, which is true of good jokes for kids too. A German submarine is starting to take on water. Gross Jokes. Bloggs will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. He's cleaned about 3 dishes when the officer walks up again. You are the wind beneath my wings. She was only the Admirals daughter, but her naval base was always full of seamen. #13. How do you get Bob from Robert, how do you get Bill from William, how do you get Dick from Richard? Here are 50 dirty jokes that are so hilarious and nasty. Please pray for. 100. 45. What is Moby Dicks fathers name? Mr. Holland yells at her, Rachel! Post navigation. there would have been seamen all over him. The recruit obeys, and heads to the mess hall. "I saw a chap with a big bushy beard earlier.". Say what you will about pedophiles. Kermits finger. You get your palm red for free. Youve been voted Most Beautiful Girl In This Room and the grand prize is a night with me! What's long, hard, and full of semen? Whos there? See more ideas about submarine quotes, us navy submarines, submarine. And jokes that you just want to use to hit on your target and we may not know, get you hooked. 5. 17 Dirty Jokes That Are So Filthy You'll Need A Shower. The captain, after showing the basic things required for the young tailor, left to him torn fabrics and uniforms of soldiers. Knock, knock. This article was originally published on May 17, 2019, Where To Watch Every James Bond Movie Streaming Online Right Now, 50 Years Ago, One Flawless Rock Album Changed Everything. A British, an American and a North Korean captain are bragging about their submarines and how long they can stay underwater. He is known for being the funniest among the recruits and he always lights up the mood, even in critical situations. Khan who? 11.Why dont witches wear underwear? 3. Keep everyone entertained with our updated compilation of the best nautical jokes around..they're guaranteed side splitters! It doesn't cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night. Because his wife died. 84. #49. How is sex like a game of bridge? Ben Dover. #5. 98. Are you a coconut? #12. All three of them are standing in a harbour, arguing. Answer: Because they never get any support. 81. 69. About three inches. Question: What do a penis and a Rubiks Cube have in common? Have you added some new dirty jokes to your collection? Pin Ups Vintage. comment sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment scrappydoddle Additional comment actions. Dirty Seniors. 1. Because he only comes once a year, and its down your chimney. More jokes about: dirty, men, viagra Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white male and resident of Wimbledon UK, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. A Lickalotopus. Liquor in the front, poker in the back. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. 25. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. Top Ramen. Everyone looks at you in disgust but deep down inside, they want some too.